The Fear, The Goal, The Idea

This morning I got up and went to the gym but this time I did not have my morning protein drink or my pre-workout drink of Jack3D. Instead I went to the gym on my Lipo6.


I did not do cardio or light weight. 


I worked out on biceps and triceps. 


I did three work out sets for both muscle groups. I would have, should have done a fourth but my arms started to feel swollen and weak.


I have noticed that I am lifting heavier then last week. 


After my workout I went to the hot tub to soak and relax while drinking my post workout protein drink. In the hot tub there was a man already there. I got in and he asked me, "Is that one of those high dollar protein drinks?" I replied no it is not, the protein within is reasonably priced and that there are some other stuff in it that I mixed to help build muscle.


Long story short, he got out and I was in the hot tub thinking about protein, GNC, and money. I realized that working part time at GNC give me time for the gym and for school, but where is the money form this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k

Can I afford my bills like insurance and my car payment? 

I hate having second doubts like I hate my back fat. No matter how hard I workout it stays there.

I hate letting people down and I told myself that I would give this job a few months while I go to school and study for my MA certification.

At times I feel like I am not good enough and that I put myself in these bad situation on purpose... but why?

I guess I have to bust my ass on selling as much products as possible to make my commission since I am only getting paid $7.25 an hour.

If all good things come to those who wait, and if's and butt's are candies and nuts, and if all the kings horses and men, could come together and help cut down the trees of the forest so I have a clear path to take because all these pre-recs from ACC are making the nursing program seem like its out of my reach!