Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Count Down

So my boyfriends birthday is coming up soon.
I have been asking him what would he like to do and what kind of gift he would like and he does not give me any feed back. He just says we can do "what ever" and when it comes to gifts he says he does want anything.

But we, sorry I decided on Buca, which is an Italian restaurant. I have booked a spot for us but the guest list is so.... well words can not describe it and I do not know how to spell it. 

I invited some mutual friends. These people are people who Val has met a few times and who he seems to get along with. I doubt he has invited any of his friends from work for from his home town. But I do not know who will come since the dinner is in the middle of the week.

I hope it does not end like my birthday were I was crying cause no one showed up to the karaoke and everyone canceled at the last minute.

Recently I have been joining local couple groups, groups that live in our area, and it does not seem to help. They are full of people we have nothing in common with. 

On to the gifts. I texted several friends, asking if they would go with me window shopping and like always everyone has a life. I didn't go but tomorrow I will go on my own to look around.

It is so funny, The friends I have who would do things with out hesitation live in a different city, yet the people who live ten minutes away never seem to have the time to be friends.

I say I want to get out of the gay world and live in the world but no one wants to do that. I have been so isolated from the gay scene that my friends have drifted away. My friends are still drawn to that world. I remember when I was in my teens and early twenties, that was everything. I wish I could find a gay couple who are like Valentino and I. People who like to go out to different places not just a gay or straight bar, but to the movies, to go hiking, to dinner, to the theatre, road trips, and just be friends.

Maybe I am asking to much??

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hello, hello, its glad to know I am not alone.

So my life has been work, work, gym, stress, work, work, and food.

There has not been much excitement for me but out of the blue my boyfriend and I packed and left Austin. We took a day trip to to the east coast of Texas hoping the sun was shining and the wind was tamed.



Sunday was a great day in Austin but Monday on Memorial Day the weather was horrible. I called my uncle and told him think you since he was in the military but now does police/security work. It has been years since I have spoke to him. I have not been keeping up with friends or family.I made plans to sun bathe at Deep Eddy's Pool which get water from the local spring but the water is cleaned daily. This water is SUPER COOL even on a hot day. Since the weather got me down we hit the gym and working out on shoulders and legs. 


We were off that day and had noting to do so we packed our swim trunks and took off to Galveston, Tx. Since we were up since 9AM and hit the gym we have not ate, so we got some spring rolls to go from Pho King. I have tofu rolls while Val had shrimp rolls. SO GOOD! We left from north Austin on 290 to Giddings. I hate traveling and in less then an hour I was restless and bored lol. So we through Brenham were I saw an out door movie theatre but Val did not want to stop and watch a movie. Finally after three hours were arrived in Houston. Houston is a big city. I have only been there one other time to an Italian Festival several years ago.




It must have taken about thirty minutes to drive through.  It continues to be cloudy and windy. There still really is not much to see but there are plenty of small towns from Austin to Galveston but none that we stopped to check out. The gay disease know as antique shopping... it plagues me, but luckily I have no money to buy anything if I did see something I like lol.  So finally are right outside Galveston as the traffic builds up. We say cars... "thugged up" I guess. Cars with crazy rims to cars missing parts but still driving.


There were people parking on the side of the road fishing. Lots of houses with boats and houses with three to six jet skis. Makes me wonder what do these people do for a living to afford several cars, boats, jet skies, and to live off the lake or the ocean....????


Finally we made it to Galveston and there was so much to seen. There were lots of pelicans, sea gulls, historical buildings, scary people. So I had to piss and we stopped at a gas station. The inner-section was packed and there were tons of people. At the gas station, I was shocked at what I saw. "Thugs" wearing shorts over shorts over shorts and you still can see their underwear....????
  So not prêt-à-porter!


We take off and make a right turn on some road called Sea.... . something something.... and I see the Gulf of Mexico!!! We find a spot to park at and hit a shop. We use their dressing room to change into our swim trucks. Unfortunately my trucks didn't fit me so Val bought me some new ones. I weight 183lb but with a waist that has a mind of its own. Usually I am a 34in but I guess yesterday I was a 32in. I got my new trucks on and then we shopped for a souvenir for the fridge. I love collecting magnets for our fridge. 


We head to a place called Fish Tails for an early dinner. Being a vegetarian my selection was limited. But Val and I agreed that our vegetarianism is closer to a Mediterranean lifestyle then becoming vegans. Val loves cheese and milk and I love breakfast tacos with papas!!! We had sea food and it was great. 


So we walk the beach with some left over french fries to feed the sea gulls. That was an experience I can not really describe. Watching the sea gulls about 2 feet away from me, hovering, it was like magic. I tried to let them take a fry off my head but I was to scared and kept squatting down then standing up straight so they could grab it.

I collect some sea shells, Val steps on a rock, and I almost slip on to rocks into the ocean. We decide to check out the local homo pub called Stars. There was nothing cute about it besides a being next to the beach. We had a beer and watching House. The day passed and it was already 8pm and the sun was going down. The wind was picking up and sand was getting in our eyes. We headed back to the car which seemed to take forever when you have to piss.


I didnt want to go back to Austin. I wanted to stay on the beach and wait for the sun. But being a grown up there are bills to pay. The drive was long and I started to fall asleep in the passenger seat. Finally home by 1:30AM.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Return

Today I had a great morning with the boyfriend.
We got our routine haircuts. We paid some bills. We had breakfast. We hanged out.

Today is my day off and while he was at work I stayed home with the dogs. I cleaned the garage a bit and hit the gym. Mid crisis occurred because I lost but found his key since he took my car to work.

Today was my first day back to the gym in about one week. I updated my ipod shuffle and jammed out at the gym. I did chest, back, and obliques.

There was not that many people at the gym. I guess everyone is celebrating Memorial Weekend.

I guess since my family was never one to celebrate American holidays I don't seem to care for them.
My family is big on the Christan holidays such as Easter and Christmas. While I prefer Valentines Day and Halloween.

Today marks my fourth real day of vegetarianism. It is getting easier but at the same time boring lol. My partner and I a re ovo-lacto vegetarians. I had eggs today. It was so good. I had a little bit of old chicken yesterday and got sick.

Speaking of sick, I vomited a little bit at the gym too. I have gotten nauseous a few time while working out.In the gym world it means you are pushing past your limit and it is a good workout.

Tonight my boyfriend and I are going to a friends house warming party.

Til next time.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Heavy Metal Lover

Its been a very rough three weeks or so from my last post.
I have not being going to the gym, I lost my mojo along the way for the gym.
I am also getting exhausted in traveling from clinic to clinic with work.

So since the last post.....

I have once again have not been keeping up with a good sleep pattern. I wake up and hear my dogs licking themselves and I think it is raining outside. Or I just go to bed very late because I am going to the gym late in the evening. By the time I wake up my eyes are burning because I have only had about five to six hours of sleep. The only time my eyes do not burn in the morning and when I feel rested is not when I sleep but when I meditate instead.... weird.

A friend was fired from work... I do not know if I should bring this up or not. The point is I applied for her position and got it. I now have a spot... after about five years of floating I have a home station. Now I have about one month left of floating and training my replacement. I am excited about this situation but sad about my friends misfortune.

Good news is that my Lady Gaga and t-shirts have arrived. Since Thursday I have been listening to the album over and over. So I have a new UBER GAY ringtone from the song, Heavy Metal Lover.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Highs and Lows

So I got the position in Rheumatology. After about 5 years at the clinic I finally have a home. I have about two more weeks of float coverage and then I can go to my station.

Unfortunately the timing is not the best. I have been summoned for jury duty at the same time I am scheduled to the new station. I have never had the task of jury duty and it has a bad reputation.

I filled out my online application and summited it. I have to be at the court house on 06/06/11. I am interested in the situation and at the same time not looking forward because I will not be making any money.

As far as the gym, I have gotten back in the grove of things. I am at the end of my 24hr fitness pass but I am not switching over. I am sticking with gold's gym, infact I went today for their yoga class. I had a good time and felt great afterwards.

Tonight I went to 24hr and did shoulders. I continue to use T-Bomb and Pink Magic. I have noticed some muscle growth. To my stack I am also using BSN CellMass and Syntha6 protein. I have slowed down on my multi vitamins, I think I have to much of something and its causing me to become tired.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

T1M3

School is out!
No more second job!

Now I am just working at the clinic full time again and loving it. I feel like the pressure is off my back and no longer crushing me. I am excited in getting back into the gym for my summer fitness goal and just relax, ing.

There is a price to this, now I have a lot of time on my hands and I do not know what to do. The hard part is not to over eat out of boredom.

For the past few days my gym partner and I have been going 24 hour fitness. It is an alright gym. I would be paying about the same amount of money I do at golds but with the luxury of having a gym open 24hrs a day. There is not anything special about 24, nothing that stands out, but once again it is open 24hrs.

After considering the options I think I am going to stick with golds gym. I have even marked my calander for all their yoga classes. I have found time to check into what I am interested in such as fitness but also metaphysics. You must take care of the mind as well as the body.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Baby Steps

Today was a double duty of a day. I went to work at the clinic and it was a non stressful position of work.
I got some homework done.
I got to catch up with coworkers I have not seen for a long time. Had cold chinese food for lunch too.

It was also payday. Its hard to believe I have only been back at the clinic for three weeks. It feels like I never left.

I called today and thursdays double duty because after clinic I had to come into work at GNC. It was very steady today. I was left with putting up new shipment away, thats AM shift.

I am wanting to hit the gym after work because its been about five days since I last worked out. I need to keep going otherwise all these supplement pills I am poping are for nothing.

.....my feet hurt.

Three more days til my handsome boyfriend returns. It seems like months. I guess I am obsess over him or just extremely attached to him.

We do everything together, he is my best friend. We have been arguing about be hanging out with certain people and about place to hang out. I totally of failed relationship I learned that I need to just be comfortable with myself and believe in the relationship I was in.

I feel this way now with my partner.

Several of my friends wanted me to go out and meet them downtown. My partner said he is ok with this. I am afraid of going because he will not be there by myside.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Waking Up

It feels like aeons since my last post. It seems like time has swept me off my feet.

Well my gym progress has basicly stopped by that is because of me. I have been sick with allergies, stress, and the lack of sleep.

I am feeling good right now considering the fact I am working two jobs for the past three weeks or so and I am still going to school two nights out of the week.

I realized my motivation is inside me but it's me stopping me because... I'm lazy.

I am going to try harder. Porn star harder, LOL.

Along with trying harder I really need to focus on school. My grades have been going down hill and I am not sure what my problem is besides not giving any effort.

I need to get a grip on things.

My partner has been out of town for several days now visiting family. Life seems very dull without him. Almost like colors are not as vibrant as they should be, and we are in spring and everything is blooming.

My best friend is moving out of my house and moving in with his BF. I wish him the best of luck and I hope be keeps his room clean there lol.

I made a pledge several weeks ago to start hanging out with my friends but I just can not find the time. There is so much going on that it is starting to feel overwhelming.

It might be time for a vacation to the beach. Even if its just for two days.

Its time to head to work at GNC. I have been awake since 6AM at the clinic. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Arms and Shoulders: Day 3

Today marks day three of P90x.

I had a better workout this time then the other past two days. I think it was because I understand arm and shoulder techniques.

I have been using resistance band and they work but its hurting my wrist on certain moves.

Recently some of my friends have told my they want to do P90x and or that they have done it and the instructor was very annoying.

So far out of all my friends I do not have anyone that has finished the program.... I hope I do.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Plyometrics, day two of P90x

This morning I cleaned the house and took my pre workout supplements, the GNC Refine and GNC Ravage. I didnt have any morning fruit just a lot of water.

I did my stretches and I was ready. Today was plyometrics and it was an interesting workout. I enjoyed it but at the same time I felt like I was just jumping around a lot.

I worked up a good sweat and I was able to follow along better since there was no switching back and forth from floor to machine.

Afterwards I did my home work and took a nap. When I was laying now I notice my back and my neck was hurting and feeling stiff. I am not sure if it was from yesterdays workout sneaking up on my but then I started having cramps in my left foot. I think that was from walking on the cold floor.

Tomorrow is day three.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

P90x, the beginning.

This morning I was suppose to start P90x but since I was drinking last night I work up tired and with a hangover... of course. I went to work and it went by fast.

AFTER WORK, I took my Refine and Ravage supplements and got ready to do my first session of P90x. To be honest I did not like it. I felt that it was focusing on workouts which I and I am sure most people do no not give must effort to, PUSH UPS. I can see the value in this program and I know given dedication this technique will work and show results. At the same time I kept comparing the workout with Gold's Gym's program, "Body Pump." P90x is very similar but different. Pump focus on low to mid-level weights and fast reps and P90x allows you to lift as much and how many as you want as long as you get get a burn from it. 

The other problem I have with P90x, and it could be my fault for not looking or fully reading the manual, but I was not able to keep up with the instructor because I was still trying to set up my cables. I wish there was a guild which will show me each move and the name and then I can watch the video.

Yes, I know I could have pressed pause and then set up everything, but thats not fun. The fun is feeling like your really interacting, you ass hole!

This rant is not me complaining or dogging P90x, I am just venting my experience. Tomorrow is day two for P90x and you should not start something you can not finish, and I will finish this program and finally tighten up my damn back fat!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Ironing the wrinkles out while the Rottweilers play.

I am not sure if it is the stress from work, the stress from my romantic life, or is it all my bills but I finally came apart.

I told off my boss on Sunday and now we have an understanding that he is rude and needs to get his attitude in check and instead of letting the pressure of work build to express the problems he is having so the rest of the staff can help.

I realized that there is so much going on that I have not been cleaning my room or the rest of the house.

I skipped class on Monday and slept. I did watch the primer of Lady Gaga's new music video, "Born This Way", which I love.

Tuesday I worked and went to the gym and had a great shoulder workout.
Today is Wednesday and I feel like I may have a communication problem with someone I will refer to ask 0862/. I feel that everything can and does go well but once there is a small disagreement or if I prove 0862/ might be wrong there is always an argument.

I helped 0862/ clean the garage and turn it into a home gym to do P90X starting this Sunday.

Wait awaits me in the future?

Will 0862/ always have this escalating problems just because we can not see eye to eye?

Will I learn to just keep my mouth such and learn I do not always have to be right?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Owl vs The Boar

"When life hands you lemons, make some lemonade." I am a patient person when it comes to people I work with but it is starting to take it toll, and someone needs to pay that toll fee.


Yesterday I opened at the GNC store and received an email about multi vitamins are buy one get one half off. Since I have a gold card with them I get sale updates. Well I called my manager, who like always did not answer, heaven forbid that someone should be up at that un-Godly hour of 10am.

The store received a new shipment of merchandise. I started to unpack the boxes and restocking the new items on the shelf behind the old items to keep things rotating out. An estimated three hours must have pass and it was about 12:30pm or so and the manager called me to say he is coming in. Apparently he was suppose to change all the sale ads and update all the promo signs but it just did not get around to do it. Then shortly after he called the area manager, my manager's manager called and asked if the new sale signs are up. I told her no, but I am working on it now and that my manager is on his way to finish it up. She then asked when was the last day he worked at the store.


My manager shows up and starts taking down old signs and ads and I help. I asked why did you not leave a note or call and have me and the other associate to get things ready. He said that its complicated and did not want to leave it to use and then have to come in to fix what we did wrong.

................... yes, taking down old sale signs which have expiration dates in small font and taking down old posters and setting up new posters and displays truly is nuclear physics, and guess what, a business degree makes you the only one qualified to copy planograms!


..............lets forget about the guy who has worked in health care for the past 4 1/2 years(moi)
In Greek mythology, the Owl was a symbol of wisdom and associated with the Goddess, Athena.


Once all that was finished I started stocking the new shipment in again and a shelf piece fell down. My manager told me it was my fault, I took it ask if he was playing. I replied that it was his, then he said no its not it was in-fact my fault. Continuing the joke I said it was Lisa, another associate who works there. The mood suddenly changed, the manager then questioned my ethics and professionalism. He then said its no ones fault and I should not be blaming other people for my actions. He then explained that we are a team.
Interesting, we are a team but he talks shit about Lisa and about the guy he made quite. We are a team but I have to pick up the slack because he must  take his vaca days while we are short handed..........SO MUCH FOR TEAM WORK RIGHT!



Finally my shift was over and I clocked out. He then told me he needs to talk to me despite that fact I am off now. I spent 30minutes listening to him giving me some constructional criticism. I did not take it as a bad way until he told me that he knows I am not trying to sale GNC items, that I am just trying to sale items to get bigger commission. The never, how unprofessional, how can he say I am not trying and that I am only selling non GNC items. 


I tired to explain but he did not want to listen. I explain that the customers who come in are on a budget and that they usually come in to get the same items that have been helping them. He explained to me that the customers do not know what they want, that I need to persuade them to get GNC items. I told him how do you sell a GNC multi vitamin to someone who expresses they already have a vitamin. He then said that GNC is better then the "cheap shit from Walmart." He told me I need to pick up my sales and that if its to hard GNC lets people go who can no keep up sales.


I took all this in and understood what he was trying to tell me, but I believe it all should have come out differently since he is suppose to be a manager.


I left that day thinking, this guy is full of shit, this guy is a bully, this guy is in it for his own profit not for the customers needs.


Its funny that day I had several customers call the store and wanted to know my name because they felt comfortable talking to me and that I seem like I know what I am talking about. While in the store, some customers expressed that they do not like the manager because he "hounds" the and does not let them shop around and pressures them to buying something and then to leave.


Today I worked at another GNC location in Round Rock, Tx. Today was an awesome day. The customers there wanted to shop around and wanted to listen about items and how it can benefit them. They were interested in knowing who I am and what I would recommend. The customers had a different attitude and different perspective on health. It was a breath of fresh air. 
I also went to the gym and worked out on legs and did a lot of cardio.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day of Days

Today is day two of which I have gone to the gym and taken my new supplements, the GNC Beyond Raw.

I feel like it has made a huge difference. The thermogenic, Refine, still needs time to kick in but the pre workout mix, Ravage, is helping me go the extra mile. I notice I am more care free and focus while working out. Infact all I can think about is the next time I am going to the gym and what am I going to workout on?


The N.O. formula in Raveage is really the key to this change. I can not wait til April to see the results.

Yesterday was bicep and tricep workout when went ok. I did have a good workout but notice my technique was a bit messy.

Today I worked out on chest and I Killed It!

I used dumb bells for all my lifts today. From over chest press, flies, flat bench, and incline. In between each rep I attempted to jump rope. It has been awhile since I have used a jump rope and it was hard but I managed to jump 50 times in between each rep.

At the end of the workout my shirt was soaked from the front to the back with sweat.
My chest feels thicker but the pecs are not formed yet. My biceps and triceps are still a bit sore from yesterday. It could also be the other supplement, Powerful, which I continue to use.

I have not weigh my self since last week but I can see and I do feel a difference in my size. I am slimming down and I must be a size 33 now since I can fit into my size 32 uncomfortably.

I still need more supplies before starting P90x.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Ctrl-Alt-Del

Today is the first day of the GNC two day body cleanse I am taking. This morning I started with a large glass of water with one of my Lipo6 Black pills to help me wake up. I ironed my close and got my things ready for work. Besides taking my cleanse mix I brought some fruit and protein.

Work went by kinda fast but I only had two customers. I guess it went by so quickly because downstairs of the mall they were setting up a stage for a band to play and the location of the store I work in is right above it. I realized I am spending to much time with the customers explaining the products instead of driving them to buy it. I have many people come in over the weeks and I educate them about the products and what may help them for their goals but they lease without buying anything. My sales are not good but at the same time I would not want some one to pressure me into buying but to inform me and let me make up my own mind.

Well back to the cleanse which is surprisingly tasty. The ingredients contain a lot of fruit, vegetable, and vitamin extracts. I have pissed so many times today its unreal, about two to three times an hour. When I think of cleansers I immediately think of bowel cleansers and shitting all the time, but that is not the case. I am almost finished with bottle number one and I am starting to feel bloated.
I have only had fruit and a sandwich to eat todaty.

After the body cleanse and given all the equipment is in I will be starting P90x with the help of some new stack products. I will start using several GNC products made for muscle building and fat burning. Its the GNC Beyond Raw line. I have the ReBuild Mass, the ReFine, Ravage, with the Pro Series Rapid Drive Arginine 5000. I am going to prove you can gain more muscle mass and weight, continue doing routine cardio, and get ripped all at the same time. This is a step in the left directions because most magazines and fitness people will say you have to gain weight (good and bad) before you can get ripped and sculpted. I think it can be done because everyones body response to stimuli differently. What works for you will not work for me or Bob.

Tomorrow will be day two of the cleanse drink and also a day at the gym for some chest work.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Dramatic

It has been days, no, weeks since I have blogged. As I think back about it what has gone on.... a lot of shit!!! I am still working at GNC and starting next week there will be no rest for the wicked. Thats right no more days off for me. I will be working every single day at two stores. My manager says I should get more commision because the other store I am assigned to has more business because of it's location. I am looking forward to this.

I have not been going to the gym as much because of school, home work load, and house duties like laundry, trash, feeding the dogs, and what else.. oh yes, this crazy Texas weather. I am not a winter kind of person, I prefer the spring with its cool breezes and rain. Since its winter season I do not feel like doing shit. In fact I rather eat more then usual... and thats a lot. Its been windy and cold then the next day sunny and muddy.... what a bipolar state I live in.

I reset my laptop to factory setting and I lost all the music I had saved except for what has been stored on my Itouch. I am afraid if I attached my Itouch to my laptop and connect to Itune all my music will be erased.

I filed my taxes with Turbo Tax and go my refund back in one week. Sadly I do not get to spend it on new cloths, new shoes, or even new supplements. The good news is I have the money for the cruise on Carnival to the Caribbeans..... AWESOMENESS!!!!
But Sunday I will get me a new tattoo!

So today I am officially 29 years old and one day. I feel as if Im 23 and maybe thats why I still make dumb misstakes like listening to my ex and trading him my suv which was paid off for a smaller more economical car. Now I am stuck is a car payment. Or maybe for not listening to my peers like my co workers who were nurses who told me not to do any CNA work because its awful.

I am a 23 year old boy in a 29 year old mans body.

The plus about this is that I look 21 years old and still get carded which fuels my ego lol. Sadly on the day of my birthday I was crying in my restroom. After I got out of work I hit the gym. I texted my friends asking if they are still going to meet me for karaoke that night around eight. I got lots of replies that their plans changed, their going out of town, they are to tired, and that they just can not go. An awful feeling of rejections and embarrassment. I wondered if its because I have not been able to spend time with them for their birthdays, or did they think I was expecting gifts, or did they just not want to be around me?
But the night did not end in mellon collie, I went to dinner with a friend and then a few more friends came and joined.

I do feel like I am in "bloom" and becoming something more both physically and mentally.
I realized the only thing stopping me from reaching the stars is myself. This is all going to change!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Fear, The Goal, The Idea

This morning I got up and went to the gym but this time I did not have my morning protein drink or my pre-workout drink of Jack3D. Instead I went to the gym on my Lipo6.


I did not do cardio or light weight. 


I worked out on biceps and triceps. 


I did three work out sets for both muscle groups. I would have, should have done a fourth but my arms started to feel swollen and weak.


I have noticed that I am lifting heavier then last week. 


After my workout I went to the hot tub to soak and relax while drinking my post workout protein drink. In the hot tub there was a man already there. I got in and he asked me, "Is that one of those high dollar protein drinks?" I replied no it is not, the protein within is reasonably priced and that there are some other stuff in it that I mixed to help build muscle.


Long story short, he got out and I was in the hot tub thinking about protein, GNC, and money. I realized that working part time at GNC give me time for the gym and for school, but where is the money form this?


Can I afford my bills like insurance and my car payment? 

I hate having second doubts like I hate my back fat. No matter how hard I workout it stays there.

I hate letting people down and I told myself that I would give this job a few months while I go to school and study for my MA certification.

At times I feel like I am not good enough and that I put myself in these bad situation on purpose... but why?

I guess I have to bust my ass on selling as much products as possible to make my commission since I am only getting paid $7.25 an hour.

If all good things come to those who wait, and if's and butt's are candies and nuts, and if all the kings horses and men, could come together and help cut down the trees of the forest so I have a clear path to take because all these pre-recs from ACC are making the nursing program seem like its out of my reach!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Double Trouble!!

I did not go to the gym on Friday. In stead I relaxed and had breakfast, lunch, a nap, went to work, then a late dinner with a beer.

Saturday morning I work up very tired and it was not until 930am that I got up from bed. I quickly got up and dressed to hit the gym. At that point I remember the scheduler from the nursing home, where I work PRN, called me and left a message asking if I can help, but my phone died before I could text or call back last night.

I have already given my two weeks notice starting on 1/18 because all my hours were going to full time employees as well as how I no longer enjoy working there. But how can this be, my hours are taken away?? In December I explained I will be taking classes during the spring semester and I prefer to work Thursday to Sunday. The scheduler person understood and agreed. I worked the first week of January but notice I was not on the schedule for the rest of the month. I was hired at GNC which Ib consider to be very lucky since my roommate has been unemployed since November. Luckily for him he just got a job which he starts next week... congrates buddy! Well now that I have been working at GNC the nursing home keeps calling asking if I can come in..... but what happen to all those full time employees who basicly replaced me for about TWO WEEKS?

This morning I took my Lipo6 and worked out on biceps. I continue to drink my Modern BCAA and half a scoop of creatine while working out. I started off with my preacher curl pryamid workout. I noticed that I am getting stronger and able to lift heavier since December when I documented my MAX weight. My last MAX was in July when I was able to lift 35lbs doing a dumb bell curl. Now I can able to lift 55lbs with little to no spotting help. Besides that workout I also used the machine preacher bench. I do not like that machine. I feel like I can not sit on it in the right position without it rubbing on my nipples. FYI, both my nipples are peirced since I was 18yrs old. Then it was on to 21s. I have a love and hate relationship with this workout. I like it because I can feel my biceps streching and contracting. I hate it because I usually have to take a ten second break just to finish.

New Workout Pump Song...... Christina Aguilera, FIGHTER! Its old I know but this song is ultra hot and helped me push myself when I was working out. I must have listened to it about four times.

After my 21s were finished I did the reverse barbell bicep curl. The is a bit difficult following a set of 21s. I started with the 45lb bar but was only able to do 8reps. I deceased on the rest of my set with a 30lb barbell. At lease now I was able to lift 10reps or more.

After my workout I traveled to Buda, Tx to pick up some home gym equiptment. The goal is to get as much basic supplies to start the P90X workout system... soon, but proble by next week and just in time too... I am having trouble fitting into my dress pants and now my shirts for work.

SUNDAY FUNDAY!!!!
This day was an intense tricep workout. I used free weights to cables and left with sore arms and felt so weak. I can not believe I survived my last night at the nursing home feeling that way. My favorite tricep workout has to be the cable kickback. I noticed that I have not been able to pull as much weight as I used to in November but one thing that does not change is that burning feeling... I LOVE IT!!!  It may sound sick but a good workout burn is the best!

Monday no gym just work and school.
I opened the store and the manager came to help since I do not have a key. He told me that "we have a problem." On Saturday night when the manager came to help me close I accidentally turned out the power to the security cameras.... LOL. I should not laugh but it was kinda funny. Well I was going to put my jacket in the office and then  a rattling sound came. The manager then said "do you have vitamins in your jacket?" I said no, and pulled out my container of gum. I then said, "why would I have vitamins in my jacket?" he then said he did not mean to accuse me but one employee did that which was a bit suspicious .... I am starting to feel like we are starting off on the wrong foot.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Between a rock and a hard place with another rock above me.

This morning I got and did my homework and made myself some breakfast which included; two while eggs scrambled, a few peices of sliced chicken, cheese, and toast.

I went to the gym for a chest workout. The workout went well. When it comes to chest I am only lifting a mid leave weight meaning, if 35lbs is to light and 55lbs is to heavy then I will lift 45lbs. At the gym I used dumb bells for my lifts. I did bench press, flys, incline press, and push ups. By the time it came to the push ups I could barely lift myself up... I hate push ups anyway.... grrrrr......

I have come up with a logical hypothisis about MY anatomy. If working out my chest using heavy weights is causing my chest to grow in size BUT also is making my arms look smaller im appearance then I will lift a mid level weight to lean my chest and keep my strength training without having my chest over power my arms. Contrast to this I will be lifting heavier weights for arms to increase the size.

Inside joke: if P, then Q.


After todays workout I was considering taking a yoga class at the gym again. I think the last time I did yoga was in the spring of 09. I like it because not only is it relaxing, it is also helpful for streching and stengthening muscles.
At home I cleaned up and did some laundry, feed the dogs, and got ready for school.

News Flash!!!!!!!
I got a call from my manager at GNC. He asked me if I was available to work tomorrrow night. He explained that the guy who also works there has quit and there are days that are not covers. I said yes, I get to an additonal day of training to learn how to close.

I went to school and had to park two blocks away.. AGAIN! That is so lame, I even bought a parking permit for the school and I am not even using it. Its very interesting in class, my instructor is Libyan and she is very nice, and it appears more and more students are Muslims. I am not sure if my instructor is or is not but the presence of this cultural group is getting more notice in my class. I am not racist or anything but it was a bit shocking to see a woman in my class with a tattoo on her right hand of the crescent moon and star. It is really pagan symbo because it predates their history and religion, El Yay for pagan symbols lol. The funny thing is, in Christianity you are taught that your body is a temple meaning watch what you put into it and what you put on it such as tattoos. We are taught that tattoos are bad and they are ruining God's work.


LEVITICUS 19:28 — "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD.


Does this not mean she should be stoned to death or something..............?

After class I headed home and had a pickle. Then I had some chips, and moved on to making hotdogs. I was still hungry and left to Wendys for a burger..... I am so bad.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

FATE: has many twist and turns



Last night after the gym I was not hungry but I kept thinking about eating. I flipped a quarter to see, heads that its ok to get some food late at night, or tails that it is not ok to eat this late. I flipped and it landed on tails. I tried it again and it landed on tails. I then started to work around the odd and I finally convinced myself that a roommate of mine who gets off of work around midnight might be hungry and I should get them something to eat. Since I am getting them something to eat and I was already at the restaurant I might as well get me something too.

I went to taco cabana and at first I wanted something small and cheap. This turned in to something more and with extra condoments. I left there with a chicken burrito for my friend and a large beef nacho plate with beans, rice, guacamole, and extra cheese. I went home and sat down and ate... I ate it all, omg I regret it now and feel super guilty.

This morning I had to work at the store and got there a little early as usually. A pon my arrive I noticed the gate to the store looked bent perhaps someone tired to break in.

Long story short, the store manager told me he called the guy who closed that night and asked him what had happen. The explanation is the door would not close right so he stood on it and used his body weight to pull the gate down. The manager told me that the guy who did this is also a pot head (because he told him) and this was the second time he has broken the gate. I asked him why he didn't fire him a long time ago, he didn't give me  real answer, I think he was afraid to do so. Unfortunately this caused the gate to become off track and stuck, not able to open or close. To top it off the door was not even locked. So as you know I must be at the store by 9:30am to open, but since the gate was broken we were not able to get into the store till 10:45am. 




Once work was over I went to lunch at a local Chinese restaurant called China Dragon, http://www.cncdragon.com. I had the honey chicken... so good. Then I went home to do some laundry and take care of the dogs. While relaxing I watched Jeepers Creepers 1 and 2. 

I went to the gym and worked out on back. I  tired to lift as heavy as I could but its hard with out a spotter to help. I think I will work out on chest tomorrow.  I used the T-Bar, Cable Rolls, and a three piece cardio workout incorporating a barbell doing Dead Lifts, Good Mornings, and Barbell Rolls. After working out I jumped in the hot tub... that was so relaxing. I drank my protein and creatine post workout mix. My legs and my back feel a lot better. I did notice that my lats and lower back will look wide and  to me unattractive. I need to find a way to thin that out  and get that area tighter. 

Its almost time to go to bed. G-NITE

Monday, January 24, 2011

Busy Bee

No gym yesterday.


This morning as I got ready for work I was in shock. My slacks did not fit, but just last week they did. Have I gained that much weight within one week? I jumped on the scale and saw that I was 180lbs. This is both good and bad. Good because I am trying to bulk up to 200lbs and then start leaning out to get ripped. This weight is bad at the same time because this means there is another pair of slacks I no longer fit into. It just didnt make sence. I went back into my closet and saw another gray colored slacks. I tired them on and they fit. Thank you lord, my slacks fit. This still means I have about 5 pairs of slacks which I can not fit into and only 2 pair which I can. I dont want to get into it but none of my dress close fit me, they are all to small.

I had my morning protein drink and I had half a can of tuna. I left to work and got there at 9:10am and I waited. Its already 9:30 and my supervisor, the dude who is training me is not here..

Work went by fast and I did learn more about customer service like, if a customer comes in asking for a cleanser for a drug test, I an supose to refuse service and have them leave the store. GNC does carry produces to conceal and cleans the body from toxins but it is not meant to be sold for the perpose of hiding the fact someone is a pot head from a drug test screening.

After work I went home for lunch and had lunch which was an egg and turkey bacon sandwich... yum! I spend my time as usuall when I am home, watching YouTube. For the past 2 days I have been watching videos posted by this guy whos user name is Discovering Religion. These videos are not debating that there is or there is not a God, but wants people to look at the historical records found from fociles and scientific studies which prove that the world is billions and billions of years old and the time frame of the bible can not be taken litterally as fact to base that evidence is older then what the bible can document which is only about 2000 years. For more information please visit. http://discoveringreligion.net/

It was then time to head out for class. This semester I am taking my class at the down town location which is about 20 minutes away from my house in Pflugerville. I left the house at 6pm antisapating traffic since I was headed downtown and to look for parking. To my unexpected dismay I arrived at 6:20 and I was about 40 minutes early.......Grrrrrrrrrrr!


What makes things worse that the school parking lot suck and there is never any places to park. I am forced to park my car about two blocks away... in the dark, in possible no parking zones, or pay to park- which I do not.

I planned on going to the gym after class and work on lats and maybe back.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Climbing the Tower

 Morning ritual of fruit and protein then a new ingredient to my plan... the return of Lipo 6 Black. I love this stiff. It energizes me without giving me the shakes. I am in a better mood. I can control my eating. Today at the gym I worked out on shoulders. I started with a pyramid workout then two other cable workouts.

After the gym the usually post workout mix followed by a hair cut. I really like how it cam out. Its on on the top and fades down the back like a short mohawk.

For lunch I pigged out at Food Shui which is an asia place and had the limon peper bowl with tofu. I do not know why so many people are turned off by tofu, I enjoy it.

Then I went home to feed the dogs, do some laundry, and finish my homework. I must have watched 3hours of youtube videos.... I am addicted.

Then off to work at GNC. I do like working there and tonight I learn how to cloths the store. I went in early to the mall to buy some more glutamine and use my employ discount. A 2lb bottle originally for 75bucks on clearance since it expiers by June (it will be finished by next month).

Friday, January 21, 2011

A breath of fresh air

The morning ritual of fruit, protein, and then to the gym.

Today was a tricep day and what a great workout it was. I did four different workouts as usual and at the end of the workout my arms felt swollen. I like that feeling. It makes me feel like my arms are growing and that I did a good job working out.

I had my post workout mix of protein, creatine, and glutamine, then I had some cottage cheese and chips. It does not sound like a good combo but I like it.

Then water, water, water. Staying hydrated is very important while taking creatine. 

I had made me some pasta with chicken for dinner. I accidentally spilled my pasta into the sink while I was trying to strain it. I had to scoop out the pasta then wash it.. omg I can not believe it happen... again.

Its a low key night and I am excited about working out tomorrow morning

Thursday, January 20, 2011

It cant rain all the time

This morning I woke up tired but in a good mood. I had some fruit and a morning protein drink before going to the gym. At the gym I did not feel tired nor super psyched. I had a great bicep workout without the help of Jack 3D. I am very proud of myself about that. 
I started off with a PYRAMID workout using the preacher bench. To my surprise the max weight I documented in December was very lite and I had to increase the amount to lift with. I started off with 35lbs but I should have started with 55lbs.
After that I did a set of hammers using 20lbs and 25lbs and learned that I have been doing them wrong for the past 2 years.... OMG! Apparently I have been raising the dumb bells to high. Then my favorite bicep workout, the single curl using an incline bench. I can really feel it when I do this workout. I used 30lbs and 35lbs dumb bells. I finsihed my bicep workout using cables. I lifted 25lbs to 30lbs. No cardio or abs today.


Once I was home I had my post work protein drink and feasted on lots of pasta.

I got ready to work at the nursing home which I really didnt want to go to. Its sad, this job is the second job I have ever worked out were I dread in going to. While at work I was sent to a different hall, which was ok by me and I went with the flow until a residents family got made at me because I got their loved one up to early according to them for dinner. I explained that I got her up since she is in the first room and that if they wish I will put her back to sleep until its time for her to eat, which was in 45mins. The family members spend 10 minutes lecturing me that I am not doing things right, that they come all the time to see her and she never gets up this early, ect, ect, ect,. Long story short the rest of the staff and my charge nurse didnt know that she was not to get up until 5pm and not 4pm like the staff has always done for the past 6 months I have worked there.

I had enough for the BS given to me, I had enough of being under paid, I had enough of being over worked,  I decided to put in my two weeks notice.
I was so frustrated about everything about the nursing home that I skipped my protein drink and headed to Wendy's where I had a double cheese burger and fries. 
 The last 2 1/2 hours at work went by fast. At the end of my shift I wrote my letter of resignation. I felt liberated and I felt justified. In my letter I did express my gratitude that they hired me and allowed me to learn. I explained that I will continue to help PRN until the end of two weeks which will end this month and by February I will not longer be employed by Tri Sun.
What a horrible place to live and to work at. There are to many residents in the hall and two aides in the hall is not enough people to give proper care or attention to residents. But these facilities like Tri Sun are cheap and expect one person to take care of 16 people. Out of those 16 people give 5 of them showers. Out of these 16 people there are several that must be rotated to prevent bedsores, out of those 16 you must try to have every ones teeth brushed which usually does not get done. Out of those 16 several are hoyer lifts and 2 aides must be present to use the hoyer to lift the resident out of the bed and into their wheel chair or back in bed.


 Now I can focus on the GNC store and learning about the produces they offer. Now that I will no longer work for the nursing home I will have plenty of time for my home work and studies.


After work I had 3 hot dogs and some water. I will wait til I am ready for bed to drink my last protein drink. Go Beef Cake, Beef Cake! 


 I pray that the Gods will hear me and open the path so I can finish the nursing program and go back to a clinic and make some BIG money and work regular business house and get my weekends off!!!! 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

what now???

Its been two days since I went to the day. Yesterday and today has been busy. Tomorrow morning there is no question about it, I have to get some cardio and some kind of lift.

I am going to be soon so I can wait up early and eat some fruit and have a morning protein drink before going to the gym.

I am a bit disappointed in myself for not going but I guess thats life. Now I have home work to add to the list of things to do.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Thinking about SIZE

Today was my off day from the gym and boy did I need an off day. My legs are still hurting from Fridays workout, my shoulders are still tender from Saturdays workout, but my chest feels firm from Sundays workout.

 This morning I went to work and had an apple and later on a protein bar. I did not and still have not had my protein drink. For lunch I came home and made me some hot dogs but once again I over did it. I had 5 hot dogs with buns and cheese and I eat a whole can of chilli with it.

I thought about going to the gym for cardio but instead I took a nap. I feel guilty for eating the way I did but at the same time I feel like my body needed a break and wanted to indulge. 

 So no gym but I did get a nap. Since today is my off day I watched YouTube videos about fitness and training. 

I started to think about what my over all goals are. I can not gain the weight like I want and my waist line is getting bigger. I have been so used to wearing scrubs I didnt know I am a size 34 or so. All of my cloths are size 31 to 33 and I have only been wearing my loose baggy jeans instead of my nice cloths for some time.

 I know that I am not gonna become a body builder but I can at lease have a toned and athletic body.

So is it possible to push moderate cardio, take supplements, and slim down while building muscle????

Most people say no but I think I am going to give it a shot. I believe as long as I eat well without going over board like today and continue all my supplements and stay focus on the gym by lifting heavy in a few months I will have the body I want.